The Gregory Home Team Goes Gambling!
No, we aren't talking about heading over the hill to Spirit Mountain to slap some money down at the Black Jack table. That's a story for another time. I lost $450 in one go, it was a rough weekend. Anyway, I am talking about the Gambler 500. For those that don't know, the Gambler 500, "gambler" for short, is a three-day event held in Oregon every June. Put on by the Sons of Smokey organization in cooperation with the Ford Bronco Wild Fund the event is essentially a statewide trash grab.
You may recall seeing a large pile of beat-up hoopties, lifted, spray painted, and loaded with a bunch of camping gear and gas cans driving around the streets of Lebanon and Sweet Home. Well, those people are gamblers! The "official" word is that there is no $500 limit on vehicles, and I use the word "official" very loosely. But one gets the idea that the crappier the car, the better the gamble. The idea is that you take a beater, travel from wherever you are, to Gilchrist, Oregon via off-road trails, picking up as much trash as you can along the way.
Now, the rules are posted on the event's website, and you can get some waypoints from various locations that provide you the most basic of paths there, but really, no one cares. The event is just a bunch of people from all walks of life, driving crazy builds, having fun, and enjoying the journey all while trying not to break down and simultaneously cleaning up our forests.
So this year, was our team's first official year to gamble. We had a plan, we were going to snag a couple of rigs from the junkyard, outfit them with some big tires, cup holders and ride on down to Gilchrist!
The first rig we bought was a 96 Jeep Grand Cherokee or (ZJ) on a last-minute auction. Described as running and driving we had almost no confidence in the vehicle but proceeded to drive to Portland to pick it up anyway. Low and behold, when we got there we see this strong 4.0 engine with a serious amount of new parts. I, for one, was shocked. As my friend Lee drove it to its new home while I followed in an un-needed tow vehicle, I placed the order for a few new parts and those cup holders I was talking about earlier.
Now the second vehicle we bought was in the same situation. Last-minute auction, runs and drives, pick it up from Portland. Only this time we were loaded with confidence. That was mistake number one. Mistake number two was to assume that everyone generally knows that at some point in a vehicle's life span, one must change the oil.
Yeah, this 2005 GMC Envoy looked mint. Chrome 20's, clean exterior minus some front bumper damage, and a super clean interior. Now the first red flag is this thing had three flat tires. But they are low-profile tires and we chalked it up to the vehicle sitting for a while. The second flag is this thing won't start. But hey neither did the Jeep until we jumped it and well, it's been sitting for a while. So after about an hour or so of filling tires, checking fluids, and jump-starting it, we were finally on the road. A little less confident but still optimistic at this point.
Have you ever heard the saying from Mike Tyson that goes, "everyone has a plan until they get punched in the face!" No truer words have been spoken. Not even two miles out of the yard I see Chelsea, who bravely volunteered to drive this thing, put her blinker on, and abruptly pulled into a Walgreens parking lot. I quickly follow in the F350 long bed... not an easy task. I get out and make my way over to her. This is when I hear the pitter-patter of an engine struggling to maintain idle. We check the gauges, it isn't overheating which right away I was relieved. But then I glance at the oil pressure gauge and it's dead flat at zero. This is where I said a few choice words that shall not be typed and started to panic. Aka this is where we got punched in the face. Plan? what plan? Now I won't bore you with a long diatribe of problems we faced for the next five-plus hours. Flat tires, roadside oil changes, replacing fuses someone removed for no apparent reason. But be rest assured the Envoy gave it all she had and well in the end it was the F350 in front with a tow strapped Envoy behind two miles from its final destination.
This was the part no one really mentions out loud but most have faced. See the Gambler 500 doesn't really start on race day. It starts the day you decide to do some stupid shit with a beat-up old car. And while the Envoy never got to reach glory, the Jeep very much did. Minus a few angry log truck drivers who had no idea why 100+ vehicles are convoying up their dirt roads and some amazing friendships made over a campfire and a busted radiator hose on a dodge Durango put back together via a Truly's can, duct tape, and a bike tube. The event was pretty awesome.
In the end, it was and is a great memory, the jeep earned her first gambler sticker, we got to camp with some amazing friends and the total sum of trash picked up to date is over a million pounds. Not too bad!